The Chonburi Communicable Disease Committee has issued a new set of guidelines for citizens to follow in an attempt to stop Covid-19.
These guidelines were quickly knocked up by a hard of thinking five-year-old following the announcement that Lockdown restrictions will be easing from yesterday, November 1st.
The COVID Clown Show of Thailand also conceded that these are merely guidelines and ‘requests for co-operation’ so that citizens can benefit from their towering intellect.
They are NOT laws or orders.
How to LIVE FOREVER, according to Chonburi’s finest minds.
1. Even with the easing of restrictions only leave the house when necessary.
2. Those over 60-years-old or with chronic illnesses, especially if not yet vaccinated against Covid-19, should avoid going out at all unless it is absolutely necessary.
3. Maintain a distance of 1-2 meters from people in public places if going out.
4. Wear TWO masks at all times when going out or when inside the house with more than two people.
5. Avoid touching your mask or face.
6. Wash your hands often with soap or alcohol gel every time before eating, after using the bathroom, coughing, sneezing, or touching shared objects
7. Clean and disinfect frequently used shared equipment in your home environment.
8. Separate personal belongings of all kinds, should not be shared with others.
9. Choose hot or freshly prepared food, should still avoid eating with others despite easing of restaurants, if eating with others do not share utensils.
10. If you had close contact with a previously confirmed patient either conduct a rapid antigen test or have an RT-PCR test completed at a hospital.
11. Always carry a lucky Amulet that you have bought for no less that 10,000 baht from a government official.
12. If you cannot obtain two masks then reinforce the one you have by wearing a pair of pants over your head.
13. When having sex remain fully clothed, 1.5 meters apart and wear two condoms.
OK, these last three are not listed. I just made them up. But, they are no less ridiculous than the preceding ten.
