Thailand issues new guidelines

Not content with ruining everybody’s businesses, families and destroying the economy, Thailand’s ridiculous government now want to control how everybody has sex. All in the name of keeping you safe, naturally.

Wear a condom… and a face mask. Find a sex position that is not face-to-face. Don’t kiss. Avoid bodily fluids and keep it short.

Also, there must be no kissing, no oral sex, and definitely no anal sex. The department went on to insist everybody must shower before sex and to use disinfectant to clean up afterwards.

After a prostitute in Western Thailand contracted Covid-19, the department announced nine safe sex guidelines to prevent the spread of the virus.

People should avoid sex with strangers, according to the Director of the Department of Health’s Office of Reproductive Health, Dr Peerayuth Sanukul. Sex parties, which could result in a cluster outbreak, should be avoided.

The doctor says that before engaging in any sexual activity, people should think about safe sex procedures to prevent the spread of Covid-19.

People at high risk of contracting the virus, those who were recently infected, and those who are waiting for test results should all refrain from having sex to reduce the risk of transmission to others, the doctor says.

Back in June, the Department of Health advised that lovers and spouses who are at risk of Covid-19 infection should avoid sex altogether, especially those who are waiting for a test result. The doctor had also warned then about sex with strangers.

With the sex worker in Kanchanburi, a province bordering Myanmar, recently testing positive for Covid-19, the department came up with guidelines on how to prevent Covid-19 transmission during intercourse.

Safe sex guidelines by Thailand’s Department of Health…

  1. Wash your hands and shower before and after having sex.
  2. Avoid kissing because the Covid-19 virus can be spread through saliva.
  3. Refrain from doing oral sex or having anal sex as Covid-19 virus can be contaminated in faeces
  4. Use condoms, dental dams, and rubber gloves to reduce contact with saliva or other types of secretions.
  5. Wear masks to cover your nose and mouth during sex to prevent the spread of infection through heavy breathing.
  6. Favour positions where you are not face-to-face while having sex to avoid contact with saliva or other secretions and spend as little time as possible (Basically, have a quickie.)
  7. Avoid group sex or swapping sex partners.
  8. Use disinfectants such as 70% alcohol, detergent, bleach to clean the sleeping area or the surface where sex was performed.
  9. Condoms, disposable tampons, dental dams, and rubber gloves infected with secretions should be thrown away in a covered bin.