THIS year certainly has been a year of weird and wonderful stories – not least of which the bizarre trend of sticking things in vaginas that definitely do not belong there.
From glitterbombing to the cucumber cleanse to using Vicks VapoRub to make their ladybits “tingle”, we have seen no end to the things women have been doing.
We even discovered you can buy vagina visors and neon pubic dyes if you are so inclined, although all gynaecologists will tell you that all of the above is a bad idea.
But it isn’t just women who have been at it, men have been pushing some rather obscure things into their penises too.
Things like screws, a four-inch long metal sex toy and a paperclip that “pierced through the shaft of the penis” – every man reading this just crossed his legs.
Not that long ago the BMJ reported a case of a man who perforated his bowel after “losing control” of a 30-inch sex toy.
There is also a round up of bizarre things doctors have removed from anuses in 2017, including coke cans and shampoo bottles.
To keep you posted with all the odd things doctors have removed from penises and vaginas this year blog Adequate Man has compiled a list based on the US Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits.
Bizarre things removed from vaginas in 2017
If you thought the stories you’ve already read about women putting putting things in their vaginas were as weird as they come, think again.
In 2017 doctors have removed:
- scented soap
- a deodorant lid
- a bottle cap
- a penis ring with spikes on it
- rusty metal
- silicone balls, which the patient said were for “you know, for when your husband leaves town”
- a bike reflector
- a hot towel
- a candlestick
- a lollipop
- a toy magic wand
A shout out needs to be given to the patients who shared a little extra detail about how they got into their unfortunate predicament.
One patient who presented to A&E with a phone and money stuck in her you-know-where simply said she “was having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend when he put phone and money in my vagina”.
Another, who needed a vaginal stone massaging ball removed, explained she was “using massaging urethral vaginal stone balls and the string holding 15 balls together dissolved, can only find 14 balls”.
Bizarre things removed from penises in 2017
No, it is not just women who seem to be sticking things in places they don’t belong.
Here’s a list that’ll make any man wince:
- a screw
- a four-inch metal sex toy
- a plastic spoon
- a Domino piece
- a piece of plastic shampoo bottle
- a coaxial cable
And here’s a case that is bound to make eyes water.
“Put paperclip through urethra and punctured through the shaft of penis” – ouch doesn’t even cover it.
The thing we can all take away from this is; unless something has been specifically designed to safely be inserted into a penis or a vagina you shouldn’t be putting it there.
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